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| Haas mentions the story of Kali, the fearful and ferocious Hindu mother goddess and a popular manifestation of feminine rage to point to the fact that things are not always as they seem (alluding to the portrayal of men as the enemy). Picture source: wikipedia.org |
While police records and media coverage may demonstrate many more women being abused by men than men being abused by women, we still only have a sliver of the picture. As we talked about last class, we often understand men through the public eye, subconsciously overlooking men's issues in the private sphere. Because men are pressured by society to uphold their masculinity, they may be less likely to turn to the authorities or even confide in others if they have been abused, rendering them voiceless of their private vulnerabilities. The following statement by Haas provides an alternative perspective to this predicament:
It's easy to think we've identified the perpetrators of abuse, and that they are men. But every one of us has the potential to misuse our power over those more vulnerable. Until we -- men and women -- confront and overturn those tendencies, we are going to keep on feeding a cycle of violence, reaction and blame. Men are not the problem. Violence is the problem. That violence may be emotional, spiritual or physical. In the end, we all suffer.
I agree that violence is ultimately the problem, not men, yet as a society how to we ween off from largely associating men with violent acts and women as their victims? It maybe easy to say but very difficult to put into practice. Nevertheless, one such initiative Haas mentions is The Good Men Project , founded in 2009 which attempts to create a space for men to have conversations about men's issues and masculinity in the 21st century, asking themselves "what does it mean to be a good man in these modern times?" Their website seems really interesting; it covers a broad spectrum of issues (even gender!) in a very visually appealing, multi-media approach. I encourage everyone to check it out, I've never seen anything like it!
I couldn’t agree with you more Monica that men also suffer from emotional and physical abuse at the hands of women. Unfortunately as you point out, this oftentimes is not taken as seriously as it should. Our society seems to suggest that women’s violence on men is somehow less harmful, less damaging than the inverse. As with the case of insisting that only female-headed households are poor (Chant, 2007), maintaining that violence only stems from men can carry severe consequences. Neglecting to acknowledge that women's violence is a real problem jeopardizes the credibility of all theory and research directed toward ending violence against women, in the same way that focusing on the causal relationship between female headed households and poverty leaves the roots and forms of poverty unexplored.
ReplyDeleteMost people argue that women are far more likely to be injured even if they initiate the violence. Even though the differences in strength and size puts a woman as a disadvantage, and by the way this is not always true, the fact remains, as the Huffington Post article points out, that this could be emotionally damaging to men as well.
Furthermore, the moral justification of violence implicit when a woman slaps or throws something at her partner, in my mind, offers him the moral justification for slapping her when she is doing something he deems outrageous. If my assumption is correct, it would then seem, as you suggest Monica, that one of the many steps necessary to prevent violence against women is for women to abandon even the most harmless of physical assaults on their partners. Women must insist on nonviolence by their mothers, daughters and sisters, just as they rightfully insist on it for men.
"Men are not the problem. Violence is the problem”. I can’t help asking myself, if not the men who is inflicting the violence, who then? Women? Both? And is it true that "Men are not the problem? I’m asking myself this kind of questions in relation to what the article said and my experience of what is happening to Africa particular in Tanzania. It is true, and I agree that police records and media cover and demonstrate way more women being abused by men than men being abused by women but I’m sure that even the coverage does not cover even half of the abuse women suffered. In Tanzania for example there are 365 police stations but only 18 have been trained to deal with gender-based violence and in rural area it is even worse. Police in rural areas have especially been notorious for brushing domestic violence under the rug, often because they say it is not a crime but a `private matter’. Many women fear the police will do nothing or merely ask for a bribe from the batterer. Well, it is good thing that we agreed that men do need to be included in gender discourse and development initiatives and I want to agree with Haas claim that men and women share similar hardships when it comes to gender and violence but deep inside my heart I still can’t see how this be the possible taking to the account the strength and sometimes size between men and women.
ReplyDeleteThank you for raising this issue Monica! It is such an important aspect of what we have discussed concerning men and masculinity. Most of us do automatically associate domestic abuse with men hurting women. This is also the case when it comes to sexual abuse – most countries do not even laws that allow men to report rape and even if the law is on paper, if a man reports that he was raped by a woman, no one will take it seriously. However, evidence is slowly coming to light that shows the possibility of men being abused. For instance, during a previous class I came across the story of a man who had been abused by his wife, but when the police came he is the one who was arrested. Even after he tried to explain what happened, no one believed him (http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/article.aspx?cp-documentid=20968901&page=0).
ReplyDeleteMore recently (October 15, 2011) CNN reported the story of three women who were arrested for sexually abusing men (http://edition.cnn.com/2011/10/15/world/africa/zimbabwe-sperm/index.html?iref=allsearch).
In the news article about the husband who was arrested after being abused, I was struck by the author’s statement that:
Domestic violence committed by women against men is generally ignored or minimized, yet more than 200 studies have found that women initiate at least as much domestic violence (DV) against their male partners as males initiate against their female partners. Research shows that men comprise about a third of DV injuries and deaths. Women often compensate for their lack of physical strength by employing weapons and the element of surprise… (Sacks, no date)
The story also cites recent research (conducted by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention researchers and published in the American Journal of Public Health) which found that:
…according to both men's and women's accounts, 50 percent of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties). In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike. Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70 percent of the time (Sacks , no date)
These stories and the many that go unreported, highlight the need for a more holistic approach to addressing gender – one that acknowledges the issues facing men. While I understand Joan’s comment that she still can’t see how it is possible for men and women to share similar hardships concerning gender and violence, it points to the fact that we have been socialized through gendered institutions that teach us what is expected of men and women. We have been taught that women are the weaker, gentler sex and men are the stronger, more aggressive sex. There is no denying the fact that men are physically stronger than women, but we must also bear in mind that abuse is not only physical – it is also verbal and emotional. So despite being physically weaker, women can do as much if not more damage to men through domestic abuse of all types.
My first reaction after reading this post was to take the stance of ‘devil’s advocate’, and so that’s what I will start my comment with! It is true that men are understood “through the public eye” which means that all that they suffer in private goes unnoticed, and therefore unattended to. However, the same societal norms that cause their abuses and vulnerabilities to be ignored because of masculine ideals to be upheld, are the very guidelines which dictate that all other human elements be subjected to the superiority of the masculinity.
ReplyDeleteIn our eagerness to defend the rights of their poor masculine souls, we need to be able to draw the line somehow. This advocacy should not be made to cast a shadow on the crux of the matter, which is that the true state of affairs in most societies in the world is that according to patriarchal underpinnings, men are the movers and shakers and leaders of society. This naturally translates into the manner in which the weaker members, mostly women and children, suffer exploitation and maltreatment. After all, the individual who has access to power is the one that can actually use it for good or bad. Obviously these previous statements have a weakness in the fact that they over-generalise, and do not give credence to the present state of affairs in many parts of the world where women have increasingly claimed and taken hold of their own agencies and powers.
In my true opinion though, I wholeheartedly agree that violence is indeed the problem, no matter who is perpetrating it. It is too easy for us to keep beating the old horse about men being the sole instigators of violence, turning a blind eye to all the different aspects to it is exactly what is causing the problem to enjoy a long satisfied existence. The world is a little too diverse and complex now for us to expect to tackle issues from age-old perspectives, even if in some case they have been found to serve the purpose. Women do suffer substantial abuses at the hands of their men folks in the home, at work places, in church, etc. But if only were could place a camera in every home in just one community! Or in high schools. We would most likely get a very nasty shock as to what the reality is. I do not think we need to be slapped in the face with this reality though, before we start seeing the sense in including thoughts and strategies that include men in the GAD agenda.
Ps: I love The Good Men Project! The creativity is amazing!
Thank you for posting Mia, I think your blog post addresses some important discussions we started in class regarding men and masculinities. It is undoubtedly true that masculinities and negative attitudes towards women are related to gendered violence against women. However, when we focus only on men’s responsibility within the context of gender-based violence, we fail to acknowledge the ways in which men suffer as well. Thus, we run the risk of failing to understand the entire scope of gender-based violence and the complex ways in which it manifests within, between, and regardless of gender. Especially within post-conflict settings where societal norms are less likely to be upheld, the prevalence of sexual and gender-based violence against males can also be extremely high. Still, a lack of consciousness of men’s sufferings has created a lack of substantial data on violence against men. As we have discussed in class, data is often the source of funding from development and donor agencies. Thus, this lack of research on male survivors will surely translate into actual development policy and inevitably take men “off the radar”. Indeed, collecting research on such a sensitive topic will involve problems of the potential stigma survivors might face, especially in patriarchal societies where males expect to be silent on such issues. Nonetheless, I agree that inclusion of males sufferings are of upmost importance if we want to mitigate sexual and gender-based violence and the social realities that perpetuate violent gender roles.
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