I would like to share with you about one of my favorite
books that is called Lean In: Women, work, and the will to Lead, by
Sheryl Sandberg. This book is a combination of anecdotes,
experiences, and practical advice. She examines through her book why there is
gender inequality at home and at work. Furthermore, the author presents advice
on what can be done by men and especially women to downsize this gap. She calls
on women to lean in, seize opportunities, and to step up for leadership roles.
Sandberg asserts (2013) that we have achieved enormous leap when it comes to
women civil rights and the fields women can work in through their careers.
However, the numbers of women who make it to top of any profession the world
are very low with less than 20% and the numbers are not improving.
The author discusses some of the internal
barriers women face such as reluctance to pursue positions of power, and
self-doubt that exacerbates this passivity and tentativeness. Furthermore, she
presents these challenges as internalized gender norms. Women are neither less
ambitious than men nor less capable, but they grow up in a world that
encourages them to be agreeable and pretty rather than successful and
intelligent. As a result, they don’t learn the assertiveness and confidence
they need to thrive in demanding career paths. In
addition, women who are assertive and risk takers are perceived to behave “like
men” and may face negative consequences.
Sandberg calls on women to avoid under valuing their
power and potential. Additionally, she states that having a mentor is good, but
women fall into relying on their mentor and become dependent instead of being
independent. In this book the author highlights that women struggle to make
hard choices between professional success and personal fulfillment, but men do
not struggle to make such decisions. Decisions related to becoming moms or
pursuing higher positions in their careers. Therefore, she shares many tips. I
will focus on three in this blog.
1. Sit at the table: Men are risk takers and women play
more according to rules. I rejected that fact at the beginning, however, I
started observing people around me and it was very true. The majority of men
aim high even if they are not sure that they can make it and women degrade
themselves. I think playing it safe won`t get you far. Every human who aim for
high position should train themselves to take more risks as it’s like a muscle
that the more it’s trained the stringer it gets. Women should start taking more
risks and have more confidence. Women tend to underestimate their own
abilities. Women do not negotiate for themselves at work. She shares about a
study which states that 57% of men negotiate their first salaries and only 7%
of women. Furthermore, men attribute their success to themselves and women
credit external factors. If women keep underestimating their abilities, they
won`t make it to the top. Work smart, because working hard is not always the
best solution. Sandberg says, “believe in your own success, negotiate for
yourself, and own your own success”
2. Make your partner a real partner. The author
discuses the importance for women to go far and achieve success they need the
support of their partners. This is what GAD theory presents. According to study
that she shares that women end to do twice the amount of house work the man
does and three times the amount of childcare. However, in other countries men
even have less participation. In addition, women are expected to drop out of
their careers to take care of the children; men are to succeed in their careers.
To even things out and empower women, the workload must be similar in all
domains including: career, domestic life, and child care.
3.The Myth of Doing it all: The author states that is the
greatest trap for women. For every opportunity there is a cost. No human can do
everything, but we must decide what are the priorities. Women especially moms
who are in the workforce have extra pressure, which affects their performance
at their career or at home. As a result, their personal well-being may be
affected. Because women are humans and not superwomen. That is why it is
important to make their partners a real partner.
To conclude, this book is empowering for women and
encourages them to follow their passion. Speak up, sit at the table, negotiate,
engage their partners, and overcome the myth of having it all. However, it did
not consider women in different cultures. It is more for women in the west.
Still I find this book inspiring. Every woman may find a connection or a piece
of advice that may apply to her. We have the power to write the next chapter
that is why we need to lean in and speak up.
P.S. she has lots of interesting talks and here is one of
them 😊
I haven’t read this book, but the overview is fascinating especially because it highlights the critical issues women are facing around the world, like unequal pay, sexism, discrimination, and patriarchy. I liked the fact that she raises the point about women themselves who are more or less responsible for their situation by acting passive other than standing up for themselves. She highlights that women don’t have more confidence in themselves and their abilities like the example she brings up about the salary negotiation that women are not negotiating higher salaries as men do. I agree with the point she makes if the women don’t help themselves out of their situation there won’t be anyone who can really help them, and they are the one who can have trust on themselves and their abilities to progress and achieve what they dream for. Reading this highlight reminded of an Indian movie “The Secret Superstar” I watched a while ago which is the story of a traditional patriarchal family in a remote village in India who is against women’s right and suppress women. The story is about a little girl who is a great singer, but her father is very conservative and a violent man who doesn’t support her decisions because she is a girl. The father is also very violent to her mother and hit her for different reasons, but the mother doesn’t give up supporting her daughter. She helps the daughter with her passion for music and buys her a guitar and a laptop to show her talent to the world. That’s how the girl posts her homemade videos on YouTube which get a lot of attention from different parts of the world. This woman is tolerating all the violence until the husband is trying to go against her daughter’s music passion and wants to marry her to an older man. This story is very close to the points she makes on her book about how women themselves need to change the system and be the savior for themselves. The current patriarchal culture and practices in the societies made women more venerable and passive, and it takes a lot of work to change this. Media. Women role models and storytelling might be a good start to change this culture and have all women more actively participating in practicing their right, but it is a long journey to go to.
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