Sunday, November 6, 2011

To be or not to be a feminist?

One of my friends just recenly got her degree in Women’s/Gender Studies in Europe; she came back home (Kyrgyzstan) and told her boyfriend and her parents that she majored in Sociology… But, we, her friends knew Truth, and therefore her “top confidential” degree immediately became the most interesting topic to discuss for her friends including me. In her defence, my “Gender MA” friend says that she doesn’t want to be called “feminist” and that’s why she can’t reveal her major to others. Addtionally, my other friends supported her idea and recommended that she should keep everything dark to escape derision or mockery from her collegues.

I learnt that few of my friends would openly admit that they favor feminism. Because, feminism is unusual, indecent, and simply unacceptable, to put it mildly. People associate feminism with something radical, unpleasant and unacceptable in our society. They avoid the word “feminist” the same way as the word “terrorist” and pronounce it with no less disgust than “prostitute.” Or the feminist means is an unattractive lady with problems in her personal life. Such woman will try to overcome her complexes at the expense of hatred for men, trying to show uselessness of men in any situation. And how could it be otherwise? It's a shame! It is not good! Meanwhile, the same “shy” women don’t not shun the benefits - yes, yes, yes! - of that “horrible and disgusting” feminism.

I think the women challenging feminism, don’t appreciate what they have, namely:

- the right to vote. The right to education. The right to a diverse and worthy (and guaranteed!) paid employment. Legalization of divorce. Paid maternity leave and child benefits. Contraceptives. Centers for mother and child. The right to go into politics. The right to hold public office and positions in colleges and universities. The right to appear in public without an escort (male guardian). And even - yes, do not laugh! - the right to short hairstyles, pantsuits and hair color. Now, all these gains may seem somewhat natural, taken for granted. But, then, to gain recognition for women's right to such “excesses”, it took feminists less than... one hundred years.

So, is it easy for feminists to live in the world? They are not understood by their own friends, not to mention their friends/boyfriends and relatives. I am just wondering if anyone of you ever told your parents and relatives that you are feminist? How was their reaction?

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for provoking my thoughts of not being a feminist, but a women living in male-favored and -dominated culture. Being a women in my culture means that you have to accept whatever socially defined role for you. You are not allowed to question or challenge the hierarchy. It is more common in rural areas where women often lack access to education.

    It is unacceptable or even ridiculous to be feminists who fail to protect themselves, let alone fighting for the rights of other women. Feminists in my country are negatively viewed as "black sheep" rather than positive change agent. They are even viewed that way by other women. "Why don't you live a normal life and accept to do what is appropriate for you to do as a women?" is a very common reaction of people.

    However, I believe there are progresses have been made and more recognition is given to feminists. For example, in Vietnam, the Women's Union is doing a great job in advocating rights and equality for women from the legislative level. At the same time, grassroots and bottom-up approach have been conducted to ensure women are proactively beneficial. That's why I believe feminists are not alone in their way for the betterment of women. Development takes time, even a generation to change some little things. We should look at the way forward and believe in smalls things can count. Let's the work speak for itself.

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  2. I agree with Tran, this is a thought provoking matter that you brought up. Why is it that studying gender automatically is equated with being a feminist? This is a proverbial problem that American culture has always reinforced. In various ways this sentiment has been reflected in in the media and just our culture in general. Common images depicted of women who study or question gender: the lesbian, the girl who hates all men, the single woman who listens to Alanis Morissette and can't handle a relationship.These images automatically equate women who question gender in our society as someone who is less than feminine in some regard. This idea is also a reflection of the ingrained paternalistic ideologies that result from living in a white male dominated society.There has also been the radical impression that those who study or speak out on race relations are somehow racists. It has often been that one who openly questions the status quo is interpreted as being radical or a social misfit who deviates from the norm. In America, as we have progressed from various social movements (the feminist movement and civil rights era), it is disheartening to still deal with such unintended stereotypes.

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  3. Thanks for bringing it up. There is still so much negativity associated with feminism. But lets remember that patriarchal institutions such as church and state are still very much the cause of unequal power relations around the world. While the word “ feminist” may conjure up a negative reaction amongst some, the benefits of equal human rights for women are enjoyed by an increasing number of women and girls worldwide.
    Just this past Tuesday in Mississippi a ballot amendment which would have defined personhood as beginning at the moment of conception implicating abortion as murder – if it had passed- was defeated. Though the socially conservative minority in this country continues to attack women’s rights to exclusive control of their bodies, as opposed to state control, the reasonable position of letting every person decide their own reproductive fate has defeated those who would drive women back to the back allies for unregulated dangerous procedures, and criminalize reproductive freedom. Further, we all know that public resources are already stretched to the limit. No place on earth can afford unfettered population growth.
    Actually, the women’s movement in the U.S. is officially about a hundred seventy five years old. Lucretia Mott, (1793 -1880)) was the first President of the American equal rights association and, a fierce abolitionist to end slavery, as well as a founding mother of American feminism. Soujourner Truth ( 1797 – 1883) was probably the most renowned African – American slavery abolitionist and woman’s rights activist. She herself had escaped from slavery. Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906) was a famous suffragette working for woman’s rights for most of her adult life. There were many others, ridiculed and jeered and subjected to endless negative commentary. What many people don’t realize is how much the abolition movement to end slavery in the U.S. was the midwife of American feminism and many abolitionists were or became feminists.
    The domestic news in the U.S. this week was completely dominated by issues of unequal power relations and the victimization of women and children. Feminism, women’s empowerment, is among those social forces responsible for bringing those nasty issues to the fore and demanding justice. Thank goodness for women!

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  4. To answer your question, I never told my mother I was a feminist, but it would not have mattered. She was one herself, to some extent, fiercely independent and very conscious of injustice against women, such as the tax code and the prejudice against single women. Though being from the pre-sexual liberation generation she still had rather strait laced ideas about sexual mores.

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  6. Hi. I am a hundred percent agree with you Zharkyn about the stigmatization of feminist into negative understanding of liberalism. However, in my understanding of Indonesian women's realities they consider so because of the different historical construction that they have.

    Most of Indonesian women who regard feminism as negative derived their understanding on the first and second wave of feminism. They believed these waves of feminism were another form of westernization. They considered that they had never experienced the oppression in the way western women had. So that the promotion of liberating women was not needed in their society, and if they do, they will blindly follow the trend of western feminism.

    Some other women however realize, there are gender inequalities in some Indonesian cultural structures, and they need to overcome this inequality in accordance with their historical and societal backgrounds. However, the image of feminism in its earlier waves influenced the way of most women see feminism currently. Some women who are involved in women empowerments in the country also sometimes refused to be labeled as feminist, they argue that their overcome the idea of gender equality was based on their values that have been taught even before the western women movements began.

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