The women of Sangtin and their men

The lives of the different women in Playing with Fire, give us an insight on a variety of themes that are more than just relevant to the work of development. As discussed in class, these themes cover topics such as the politics around knowledge production, social inequalities, empowerment though dialogue, intersectionality, etc.

However, Nagar and the Sangtin women devote most of the pages of “Cracking Cages” to the issue of masculinity. Their relationships and experiences with men are present throughout the book, but in this section, the women offer a very sophisticated and insightful analysis of their connections with the different men that have affected their lives.

The presence of men is seen in the very first pages of the book and throughout. Indeed the women’s first childhood memories were shaped by either the presence of abusive fathers or by their absence. This trend would continue as they go to be forcefully married at a young age to men they have never met or to men their hearts have not chosen. It would come at no surprise then, that these husbands and their families would reveal to be physically and emotionally abusive.

But even so, the women recognize that this abuse came as a result of not male dominance but instead, of the fragility of masculinity. Through Chaandhi’s story, the women display how the insistence of her husband to never speak of her previous marriage or of her abandoned child, represents a clear manifestation of the fragility of masculinity. The Sangtin women are quite amazed at how easily masculinity is threatened; which leads us to question the true nature of authority.

Yet Playing with fire brilliantly illustrates postcolonialism thoughts, precisely because the stories of the women are not just meant to showcase and attack male dominance. Instead, they are meant as another exemplification of the need for intersectionality, as a lot of features of spousal and familial violence are meshed in with the realities of casteism, wealth and poverty. The women for example argue that the policies of government disempower the poor not only economically but also socially, apparent through the emergence of gambling and alcoholism as symbols of masculinity.

The book also puts into question the notion of empowerment and women’s paid work. Indeed even as they face a lot of resistance and opposition at home against participating in outside employment, the money brought home as a result, is enjoyed by everyone in the family. The question of who should be in control of their income is also discussed. While some women are clearly content with handing their salaries to their husbands, others question its fairness.

Thus, I think that Playing with Fire, reminiscent of Kate Bedford and Sarah White’s articles challenges the notion of masculinity and of men as just mere oppressive and violent; third world men cannot be solely ascribed one rigid identity. Hence the book shows that the insistence to characterize men solely as abusers, is neither beneficial nor does it advance the discourse of development. The women connect their stories to the bigger realities of society and tellingly recount the way in which these men who have “suppressed” and “abused” them are the ones who end up supporting them and standing by them throughout this entire process.